Happiness.

We all want to be happy, right? So what's stopping us?

I've thought a lot about this as I find myself in funks often. I've gone to school and studied some of the hardest material that could be thrown at a person with the exception of quantum physics, and very upper-tier mathematics and biology. I've traveled from town to town across the Pacific Northwest, hitting bookstores along the way hoping to find my answer, or answers secretly scribbled in some mans journal, or a woman's novel. I've read books on psychology, math, physics, philosophy, religion, even language!

When I was a teen I was overcome with devastating depression, one that also struck my brother through more terrible means. I locked myself away from the world with my books... not Maxim, Penthouse, or Playboy, but books on history, finances, and philosophy. I had heard of "enlightenment" and was convinced that was my answer, but how would I get there?

I changed course and dove headfirst into the dating world. I broke out from being this quiet, shy, homeschooled kid, to one full of confidence. Confidence that was fed from the attention I received from women. I was frustrated on my quest and I figured maybe happiness isn't so much about thinking as it is about taking extreme risk!

Finally, I settled into a life more balanced with work, relationships, college, and family. It took a lot of mistakes for me to reach what I believe to be "enlightenment" but alas I'm about there.

Happiness, the kind that is long-term and clings to you wherever you go and whoever you're with, the kind that is absorbed by everyone who comes into contact with you is not so much what you're influenced by as much as it what you believe.
It is having a positive attitude, where you look at life as a blessing and find the opportunities in everything in life. A flower is not just a flower, it signifies life and determination. It can be picked, trampled upon, cut, and smashed. But it is there in all it's majesty. It's taking everything in and not saying "no" to opportunity. It's a combination of thought, feeling, and belief. It takes self-determination and will. Life will pass you by and leave you unhappy if you don't take charge of your life and believe in yourself and regard life as a blessing full of opportunity.