Home is where the heart is

That never meant much to me. The saying that "home is where the heart is". I've never understood that until now, unfortunately. I am 26 by the way.

Doing something because you have to and doing something because you want to are completely opposite and lead to entirely unique outcomes. Let's say you're baking an apple pie, but you really don't want to bake it. You'd rather be doing other things but you had made a promise to the local homeless shelter saying you'd contribute by baking this pie. You also have a lot going on in your life; work, a girlfriend or boyfriend, your usual gym time, and whatever else. You view this pie as a pain in the ass and as such you may not pay close attention to the list of ingredients and forget the sugar; you're not paying attention to the amount of sugar you're putting in the pie and rather than measure it you're just "winging" it and putting in what you think is the right amount because measuring takes too much time and being the busy person you are it's just not worth it. You pop it in the oven and forget to set the timer, or you do set it and simply forget about it and go about your business.

My point is that you really are much more likely to bake a better pie if you bake with love as opposed to doing it because you feel obligated to. This scenario can be expanded to include anything else. 

Conclusion: wherever you apply yourself and whatever you put your heart into, you will see success and the return on your investment will be paid back and then some.

Looking around, there are plenty of average people. I know this one guy and he looks pretty average, talks pretty average, and doesn't really stand out from everyone else. He dresses in low-key clothes that don't cost a lot, he enjoys talking about football, trucks, and wildlife and doesn't have any interest in physics, mathematics, or what Bill Gross is up to. He doesn't get really excited about much, at least not apparently so. He's just a simple man: what you see is what you get.

Well, I wanted to know more about this guy because I saw him everyday and interacted with him nearly every day. And no matter what I never saw him upset or sad. He always seemed more like content if not happy. And I thought "how is that possible?" How are his emotions in check like that all the time? He must be hiding something!

Not really. He grew up on a ranch fifty miles from the nearest town with his parents and three siblings. Winter temperatures would sink to -40 Fahrenheit, summers a scorching 110. His entire family relied upon the nations demand for their cattle. Some years were good, some were bad, most were just ok. He grew up modest, and was raised to treat others fairly. You could say he was raised pretty well. 

Fast forward to today and he's my age, 26. He has three kids, a beautiful wife, a nice new home, new truck, still seems like the nice guy I knew back in highschool. In fact, his personality hasn't changed a bit. Same sense of humor and mostly the same interests. He rarely, if ever, complains about anything. And if he does it's in a mostly joking tone and he'll start and end it in one sentence.

I've always asked myself: "why is he so much happier than I am?" Here I am with more education and knowledge than most people according to my years in college and yet I don't know the answer to this seemingly simple question. 

One time not too long ago my truck broke down. I popped the hood, got out, and looked all around. "That's the engine... there's the oil-gauge, wiper fluid reservoir,  serpentine belt.... battery...." I could identify most parts of the engine but had no clue as to what was wrong let alone how to fix it. I thought for a while about who I could call but being in a place I wasn't very familiar with I didn't know many people. The people I did know were more acquaintances than friends. Mostly by their choosing because I can be a very selfish person. Going through my contacts on my phone I come across his name and thought about calling him. Before I did I weighed my options of everything: "I could call a tow-truck but they will charge me an outrageous fee.... I could call such and such and they would probably come but I'm not very close with them and haven't treated them well in the past..." I was out of options and decided to call him, but before I did I had one fear that crossed my mind "what is he going to think? He'll probably think I am useless and not even a man!"... wait! Do you see what happened there? I stopped to think about what he thought. Interesting. Anyway, I called him up and as usual he answered with the same cool "hello" he's always had. I explained my situation and he said he just had to finish something at work but he would be over in 15 minutes. Whew! He'll figure it out I thought!

15 minutes later he shows up. Looks at the engine bay, tried starting my truck within 30 seconds tells me "your alternator is no good".... hmmm.... I've heard that word before but I really don't know anything about it. He shows me where it is and tells me he'll take me to a place and get a new one and install it. I thought "wow sure yeah!" We go to an auto-parts store and he tells them which one I need. We return to my truck and he proceeds to take out his tools and work on getting my old alternator out and replacing it with a new one. About an hour later my truck is running again! I thank him and offer to pay him/buy him a beer and whatever else! He tells me not to worry about then before driving off says jokingly that I should drive slower! 

Thinking about it I realized that he's that strong, steady man every woman wants to be with and every man desires to be like. The most beautiful women have always pursued him but he's never really been interested until he met the girl that would later be his wife. He would always tell jokes even if it was -30 with the wind howling and we were both absolutely miserable on a job site. He's never been afraid to try doing something himself. Most of the time he would fail on his first attempt or two but by the third try he'd get it. I'm terrified of heights but he'd climb up the side of a mountain without hesitation. I would hit a jump on my dirtbike going 40mph, then he'd hit it going 50mph. I'd say "I can't do that" to something and then he'd go and do it. I'd date different women and complain about life, he'd stay single and complain about there not being enough beer. I'd Google "how to fix a car" he'd be out there doing it. Friends would call me and ask if I could help them move and I'd decline saying I didn't have the time. When friends asked him he'd say "yeah sure I'll help you move, I'll bring my truck and some pizza too!" 

He was basically my opposite. Almost never getting angry, never sad or too upset about anything. Always logical, direct, and light-hearted. I'd talk about quantum mechanics and he'd talk about the Seahawks. I made six figures and he was barely scraping by but somehow he managed to build himself a nice house, afford nice vehicles, marry the most beautiful girl within 500 miles, and was known to everyone within that same range. No one had anything bad to say about him and he had nothing to say about anyone else. I thought "he's just doing what everyone does" but it turns out it was the opposite. He's a hardcore Christian, doesn't care for cursing, dislikes drugs, never had pre-marital sex, and in social-scenes he was always calm and focused. No matter how bad you treated him he would never return the favor and continued to treat everyone as equals. He had specific values and principles that I never once saw broken. 

This guy is a good friend of mine and no matter how poor of character I've been or lacking of love he's always been nearby. There's a lot to be said about a man who has substance like that and none of them are bad.