Organizing is a stressful, often complicated task, no job, that must be done to some extent in life yet it is one of those facets of human existence that can never be seen to completion. There are small blips of successfully organized quests of organization, where you set aside a time within your day to organize something and see it through to completion; it might be a cluttered desk, swamped with papers about stuff, or objects used as tools like a stapler or keyboard for your computer. Some people thrive on disorganization and some level of entropy in the bubble of a world they create within the fabric of their consciousness.
According to Merriam Webster, to organize means to "arrange or order things so that they can be found or used easily quickly: to put things in a particular arrangement or order".
I personally struggle with organization everyday in almost everything I do. What makes the situation worse is that longer you go without organizing and without attempting to structure your life in some way, shape, or form, the worse the problem gets. It is a problem of compounding, that's it. From organizing my home to organizing my schedule, to organizing my books.
Within my mind I believe that I must have every facet of my life organized to the smallest, most singular element. No atom may act on it's own; they all must be lumped together in some kind of molecular structure. The problem with this ideology of mine is that it is a carry-over from my high-school years, a time when I actually had both the time and the means to accomplish it.
--Now that I am nearly 27 years of age with a full schedule, I no longer have the means or the time to accomplish my desired level of organization. At least, not to such a quantum scale. So is the fault my high-school ideology? In part, yes. But it's also a fault of mine not to reexamine my philosophy and adjust it according to my current schedule and demands. Organization is a must to a certain degree, but beyond that it is simply for aesthetic or pleasurable means. In other words, it no longer becomes efficient. Organizing my DVD's, none of which I have watched in the past six months, does not help my become a better, or more intelligent person. I am not paid to do it, nor am I asked by anyone to see it done. It would simply because I prefer to have them organized by alphabetical order.
With that in mind, the cost/benefit analysis is simply skewed too far in terms of cost for it to be worth my time. But what about something not so carnal as DVD's? What about something more important to my daily life like my finances? Schedule of classes and their related demands?
I think this is where it becomes essential, but again only to a certain degree. I can schedule my classes according to my level of desirability to fit into to my preferences. I do not schedule my classes around my work/social schedule because I rate my classes as a top priority, which is a level of priority higher than my social or work schedule. Everything else is scheduled around them.
But now I come to a psychological quandary: dwelling on opportunity costs, worrying, and spending copious amounts of time and energy then doubting my final decision. This is quite literally the habitual activity that takes up the most of my time and energy. There is simply nothing in my life as demanding as my worry, doubt, and constant dwelling of such things. Not only does it cost my physically in terms of my health, but also spiritually, financially, morally, and mentally.
The solution is simple: less of the costly, detrimental stuff like worrying and more stuff like creating and living a life of happiness. But this is so difficult for me, because everyday I wake up like this:
"I am so tired."
"I am so weak."
"I am so ugly."
"I am so dumb."
"I have to go to class today."
"I have to go to work today."
"I have to see people today."
"I have to speak correctly."
"I have to think correctly."
"I have to be focused."
"I have to read today."
"I have to go to the gym today."
"I have to run today."
"Why did I not run further today?"
"Why did I not study more today?"
"Why did I not speak better today?"
"No, I said that wrong I have to correct my mistake by saying something correct."
"I have to brush my teeth."
"I should have eaten healthier."
"I forgot to call Zach and Thomas."
"I forgot to call my parents."
"I have to meditate."
"I still have to file my taxes."
"Remember that time I kicked the ball wrong?"
"I miss so many people in my life."
"She hasn't texted me back, I must have said something wrong.--I could have said it better."
"I don't like my hair,"
"I don't like how hairy I am."
"Gosh I can't speak right today."
"Damnit, I have to do the dishes."
... and on and on and on... imagine going through that everyday. Not just every single day of your life for the past ten years, but imagine playing out that list of shit over and over again in your head like a record, throughout the day everyday.
That's what I am trying to communicate to everyone. That is literally how my life is and how I spend so much time and energy everyday. As a result, I have it structured like a perfect system in my mind, and anytime something unexpected occurs, like someone asking me to help them with something, I completely crash because my structure leaves no room for outside activities, or unexpected circumstances. It is completely unorthodox and even worse completely idiotic.
An idea: be creative, be assertive, and live life with only the most fundamental rules. One key phrase I heard a few years ago went something like this: "If you have to repeat to yourself everyday as a reminder to convince yourself to do it, it's not worth doing. If you have to remind yourself constantly, it's not worth remembering".
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